Welcome again, gents,
Today, we’ll discuss the follow-up subjects from the first post:
I) The possible usage scenarios for Spill Your Coffee
II) The best ways to cope with spilled coffee
III) How to be a steadfast coffee spiller
To begin with the first, let’s all be honest for a minute. In this corrupt and greed-driven world, if we assume we have a perfect truth-to-lie ratio, is there anyone who can truly say they’ve never once made an extravagant statement? I think not, so you should think like me (keep me on your role model list—1st, 2nd, or 3rd doesn’t really matter, but top-3 is my game). Anyway, I’m getting too distracted. The point is, there aren’t many usage scenarios for Spill Your Coffee beyond reading my “garbage-ass diaries.” I’m not throwing idle threats at your daily reading habits, but that’s the reality.
Secondly, the best way to cope with spilled coffee is to brew a new one—just like our relationships. If a relationship isn’t working properly, what should a sensible person do? End the unresponsive process and create a new process with a fresh PID, preferably with newly allocated memory, a newly paved warm-asphalted bus, and so forth. You can use these instructions for spilled coffee or spoiled relations (or both), although constantly changing the relations.exe process might eventually corrupt the kernels. Fair warning—beware!
Third and finally, to be a steadfast coffee spiller, start by reading the diaries from No. 1 to the latest installment, and engage with the Master Spiller in the comments section. That’s all it takes. If you struggle to succeed even in small things, I can still guarantee anyone can become a Coffee Spiller—not because it takes minimal effort, but because it takes an epic amount of effort. The only key is commitment. Once you commit to following these daily scam-asseries, you’ll get hooked, making it the most important habit of your life.
Now that we’ve covered these follow-up subjects, let’s proceed to the normal content.
Today’s topic: My thoughts on employer-employee relations. This is a sensitive topic for both employers and employees. Think of it this way: being employed requires effort from the person doing the work, but there are also financial responsibilities for the employer—analyzing the potential benefits gained from the employee, paying a fair wage, offering services at an optimal price while still maintaining capital and meeting demand, making small adjustments here and there, and other business management “crapware” I won’t delve into for the sake of brevity (actually, I’m too sleepy to explain further, and I don’t have the knowledge to write a textbook on Business Administration).
This topic is also sensitive for employees, because they have to adjust their performance. Merely increasing performance isn’t always enough for the employer, and that’s something everyone feels. The main point is that there should be a common and shared bond of trust between employer and employee, right? What do you think? For those who’d say “yes,” I’d note that most employees hide at least a few things from their employers, and employers often hide things from employees under the umbrella of “business secrets.”
If the employer and employee can’t meet at a shared, common trust bond, how can you expect the business to prosper? By maintaining a tight standard, employing managers, dividing services into “projects,” and assigning project leaders, etc. That might be a “good enough” solution, but it’s far from optimal.
Employee trust and loyalty can be earned in several ways, but the easiest way is giving them a portion of company stock, so they feel they’re improving the company’s services for their own benefit. This is partly true, partly false, but overall provides a better sense of inclusion. To quickly boost employee loyalty, this can work—but it can also be economically dangerous to the company’s capital, especially if you’re in the “crawling” phase. Essentially, the employer is giving out stock at a relatively cheap price compared to the company’s matured market cap and potentially losing controlling shares, making buyback tedious or impossible.
You might wonder—or even get angry—and ask what the endgame is, and what the optimal method is for creating good employer-employee relations. I’ll write about that in depth in the next installment. Suffice it to say, a major step is establishing a transparent structure between employers and employees—doing everything openly, with everyone involved, leaving no question marks in employees’ minds. Unfortunately, not many companies are set up this way, so we can only guess.